am i actually making the correct decision here??? how one party denies the existance of the other party in a place where the first party belongs to...

I really do not know what i can blog about now... all my mind thinks about is what happens if this or that happens... what happens if this happens and what happens if that happens... URGH!!! sad of me... i've always got thoughts that if she ever is able to find my blog? X) but i guess she doesn't know that i even own a ranting blog... one that i complain about how unfair my life is... but like i know... not many people knows about this blog either... =) i don't even wanna put a counter in here... i don't even wanna know how many sad visitors i get a day... one or two? a week? LOL!!! urgh! this sucks.. =P but yeah... it's kinda like a quite little place a little boy goes and hide and write down his sad stuff... his life...

Ever questioned yourself how life would be without this person or that person??? mayb i really do not care... All i care is that life without her... it wouldn't be that colourful... but when my life is with her... my life is filled with happiness, filled with all the colours of the life... so what do i lose if she says i never knew her... it would be bad... but life with her would be very "entertaining" compared to a boring freaking lousy life... even thou i am not much of a convincer... all i can say is that having her in my life is like a starving kid who saw his first box of KFC... =) hehehe... oh so important... but unable to open the box and finish it... jz staring at it and even thinking of it makes him happy... makes him full and makes him delighted... =) awh... how i wish that this feeling still exists in me... =( Who would want to know what i feel now??? i myself don't know how to answer that.. .=) but yeah... i don't care much about that... =) all i care is in my heart... =) no matter what happens in the future... i am able to look into the heart and smile from the middle of my heart... =) how nice that is.. =) try to imagine it... WEEE!!! =) heehee.... =)

aalright man... =) back to the oh so cute little boy jamie... (One tree hill) =)

Oh yeah... and btw... =) to my fellow utopians... =) PALLE!!! u know we love you... Losing u is like how a bird loses it's wings... i'd always miss the days where i go /me hugs Palle... URGH!!! =(

But anyhow... =)

Ciaoz... =P