you know how i said that i walked on the street and had two different feelings? now it's even more different... same street, 3 different feelings...

1, Crying all the way
2, Happy on the phone
3, Looking on the floor thinking what a sad life i've had... how i want to get drunk, and vomit everything out...

Anyways... i had half a bottom of really lousy butterscotch... i bought it the first week i came to melbourne... drank like 1/3 with my friend... and realised that we hated it... but i actually finished it in 1 minute... i do not know... the whole way i walked back i looked left, looked right and hoping that there would be a bottle shop that is open... as i know if i went to a bar... they won't serve me enough until what i need... and i know what i need is a freaking whole lot of it... and since it's like tat... i jz had to finish the 2/3 of what's left... but it isn't giving me much of a effect.. i might feel abit heavy but it's still nothing for me... damn... =( and the stupid alcohol content is only 19%... Tomorrow i swear i'd go out and buy a bottle of vodka whatever the brand is i don't care... i don't care if i need to drink alone to get to forget everything... i do not know... but i know that today what i said was fucking stupid... although i realised it two days ago... i'd be very guilty for what might happen to us... but i do not know... i always thought that i'd be able to take it... but it seems not... what i thought was very childish i know... all i wanted is that both of us have a happy time which would be in our memory... but i actually realised that today it's not as simple as that... what i did just complicated stuff... i do not know... i shouldn't have been stupid enough to bring things up today... damn... why am i such a fucking stupid little kid... mayb she's right... i actually am a small little kid... one that's not even up to her age... mayb she's right... Love and Liking is two different things... but i think it's still very similar... both is a feeling from me to her... just that the difference would be like traditional chinese words and simplified chinese words... not much difference... just that some people who only knows the meaning of one of them might not be able to completely understand the other... it might be new to some people... but eventually people would know it... =) just that mayb i won't understand if i actually love her or is it just as she says... my age people would be more into Puppy Love... WHO KNOWS!!! she might be right... or mayb i might be able to prove her wrong... but i do not know what i am able to prove... i might only be able to prove that i'm an ass that can't do shits on my own... =(

Being a lonely little boy in melbourne... i might be just happy about the attention that she gave me... and fell in love with her just because of this... but i don't think it's that simple... because if thats the case... i would have fell in love with lots of people already...

Urgh... i do not really know what's going on here... i really need advice... if you're not up to it... mayb just stfu and carry on with your normal life... =) hehehe...

For now,

Fucked up person publishing a stupid fucking post... =)