am i actually making the correct decision here??? how one party denies the existance of the other party in a place where the first party belongs to...

I really do not know what i can blog about now... all my mind thinks about is what happens if this or that happens... what happens if this happens and what happens if that happens... URGH!!! sad of me... i've always got thoughts that if she ever is able to find my blog? X) but i guess she doesn't know that i even own a ranting blog... one that i complain about how unfair my life is... but like i know... not many people knows about this blog either... =) i don't even wanna put a counter in here... i don't even wanna know how many sad visitors i get a day... one or two? a week? LOL!!! urgh! this sucks.. =P but yeah... it's kinda like a quite little place a little boy goes and hide and write down his sad stuff... his life...

Ever questioned yourself how life would be without this person or that person??? mayb i really do not care... All i care is that life without her... it wouldn't be that colourful... but when my life is with her... my life is filled with happiness, filled with all the colours of the life... so what do i lose if she says i never knew her... it would be bad... but life with her would be very "entertaining" compared to a boring freaking lousy life... even thou i am not much of a convincer... all i can say is that having her in my life is like a starving kid who saw his first box of KFC... =) hehehe... oh so important... but unable to open the box and finish it... jz staring at it and even thinking of it makes him happy... makes him full and makes him delighted... =) awh... how i wish that this feeling still exists in me... =( Who would want to know what i feel now??? i myself don't know how to answer that.. .=) but yeah... i don't care much about that... =) all i care is in my heart... =) no matter what happens in the future... i am able to look into the heart and smile from the middle of my heart... =) how nice that is.. =) try to imagine it... WEEE!!! =) heehee.... =)

aalright man... =) back to the oh so cute little boy jamie... (One tree hill) =)

Oh yeah... and btw... =) to my fellow utopians... =) PALLE!!! u know we love you... Losing u is like how a bird loses it's wings... i'd always miss the days where i go /me hugs Palle... URGH!!! =(

But anyhow... =)

Ciaoz... =P

People who know me would know me well enough... =) people who know me not... would understand me here...

But anyhow... back to blogging... =) u know how every life... everyone would have their soul mates... but these soul mates are hard to come by... so lets say... it is currently estimated that there is 6.7billion people in the world... what is the probability of soul mates meeting each other in the world? it would be the fraction of one of 6,700,000,000x6,699,999,999... why? it's because if there is 6.7b people in the world... and one of them is the person who is to find it's soul mate... and how can u be ur own soul mate... so u gotta deduct one from the total world population... So now i guess... if u guys are able to find the person u love... you should learn to appretiate them... =) am i correct here??? obviously... i am currently one of them within the 6.7billion in the world... but have i found my soul mate? i'm still in doubt there... because who i think is my soulmate might not be who i think she/he is.. =) people who know me... would know if i'm gay or straight... X) so... make ur own final guess... =)

Anyways... yeah... =) i know the 1/(6,700,000,000x6,699,999,999) chance is very slim... but i really hope that i met the correct person... But only time would be able to prove it... I really really hope that she can be the love of my life... i know... falling in love with a girl who i known for less than 2 weeks at that time? i guess that's what we call being the honest person that doesn't lie to himself... or should i say she who didn't lie to himself... guess my story is a little complicated over here..

Seriously... i really hope that i can find someone who is able to share my problems... someone who is able to share my happiness, burden and all so many more... I really realised that sharing is one part of life which can reduce the burden carried on a person's back... i guess not many in my life knows what happened to me recently... oh wait... NO ONE DOES!!! and i'm not happy about it... but it's more of a personal problem... i can choose whether to share it or not... am i correct here? =)

Anyways.... me logging off... fucking off... scramming... =) ciaoz....

you know how i said that i walked on the street and had two different feelings? now it's even more different... same street, 3 different feelings...

1, Crying all the way
2, Happy on the phone
3, Looking on the floor thinking what a sad life i've had... how i want to get drunk, and vomit everything out...

Anyways... i had half a bottom of really lousy butterscotch... i bought it the first week i came to melbourne... drank like 1/3 with my friend... and realised that we hated it... but i actually finished it in 1 minute... i do not know... the whole way i walked back i looked left, looked right and hoping that there would be a bottle shop that is open... as i know if i went to a bar... they won't serve me enough until what i need... and i know what i need is a freaking whole lot of it... and since it's like tat... i jz had to finish the 2/3 of what's left... but it isn't giving me much of a effect.. i might feel abit heavy but it's still nothing for me... damn... =( and the stupid alcohol content is only 19%... Tomorrow i swear i'd go out and buy a bottle of vodka whatever the brand is i don't care... i don't care if i need to drink alone to get to forget everything... i do not know... but i know that today what i said was fucking stupid... although i realised it two days ago... i'd be very guilty for what might happen to us... but i do not know... i always thought that i'd be able to take it... but it seems not... what i thought was very childish i know... all i wanted is that both of us have a happy time which would be in our memory... but i actually realised that today it's not as simple as that... what i did just complicated stuff... i do not know... i shouldn't have been stupid enough to bring things up today... damn... why am i such a fucking stupid little kid... mayb she's right... i actually am a small little kid... one that's not even up to her age... mayb she's right... Love and Liking is two different things... but i think it's still very similar... both is a feeling from me to her... just that the difference would be like traditional chinese words and simplified chinese words... not much difference... just that some people who only knows the meaning of one of them might not be able to completely understand the other... it might be new to some people... but eventually people would know it... =) just that mayb i won't understand if i actually love her or is it just as she says... my age people would be more into Puppy Love... WHO KNOWS!!! she might be right... or mayb i might be able to prove her wrong... but i do not know what i am able to prove... i might only be able to prove that i'm an ass that can't do shits on my own... =(

Being a lonely little boy in melbourne... i might be just happy about the attention that she gave me... and fell in love with her just because of this... but i don't think it's that simple... because if thats the case... i would have fell in love with lots of people already...

Urgh... i do not really know what's going on here... i really need advice... if you're not up to it... mayb just stfu and carry on with your normal life... =) hehehe...

For now,

Fucked up person publishing a stupid fucking post... =)

U know... one road can be actually two different things depending on your mood when u walk it... =)
And why do i know this? i walked the same road the same time on two different days... Lemme just summarise it, one of the walk was a happy one and the other one was one that brought me a smile on my face... =) forgive me for my very very stupid post yesterday... but anywyas here's two very very funny videos that i would like to share with everybody... =) i just saw it on TV here in Melbourne... =) anyways... here you go... =) Both Videos are voted 2nd and 3rd best prank video... =)

Video One (WATCH THIS FIRST...)




And Video TWO (Need me not to say when to watch this... but watch this SECOND...) =.=




Have fun ^^

I do not know what i did to deserve a life like this... seriously... it's how you want to play around with my life... OMG!!! or is this just a test on how i can actually come back up from the worst time of my life? i do not know what the fuck is going on now seriously... i just want things to be better on from now... =)

to those out there who don't know what's going on... i don't blame you... because only a hand full of people... and if u care and want to know... ask me... but as i'd be in a very sensitive state of mind... ask properly... as i'd be screwing u upside down if u don't ask properly or i got my tailed stepped by a freaking elephant...

HAIZ!!! now i understand what happened to so many of you... hehehe... but i don't think anything can be compared to what happened to me in a night... one freaking long night... one which i came back semi-drunk, ran 5-10 minutes down to the city and took a half an hour walk back home after everything finished... i feel so stupid... but for what??? for what can be the happiest moment of my life... But it all depends on what i do in the near time... i just hope that i don't screw everything up...

Anyways... a sad little boy in a room of his own... doing his laundry... OMGOSH!!! help me... =(

Ciaoz suckers...

Boy's trip out of melbourne

Over the weekend, i went on a trip with my mum over to Tasmania island off the shore of Melbourne for a short holiday.

it's actually not a very bad place to go for a holiday... but i guess the travel agency i followed is abit rush here and there, they never really let us have a real look at the place before bringing us to a second place... but anyways i few very very funny english words... since i had a chinese tour guide, she tried to teach the older people some very simple english words... first word would be 危险。we the younger generation understand what it means in english. But how did she explain it to the older people is that every morning most people wake up go to the toilet and start doing their big business which is 拉屎correct? okay and why is it 危险 ? everyone when they 拉屎they sit with both legs right? so it's kinda 危险 if you shit with one leg right? do 危险 in english would be 单脚拉屎。 try to read it out and understand it a little... =) and u'd get the meaning in it already... =P hehehehe...

urgh darn... i realised that i'm back to suffering from short term memory lost... i can't remember much now... but anyhow... i made lots of new friends on this trip... =) and of couse... =) friend's are to be made... =)

anyways... =) yeah... this is fornow... =)

Boy's new life

bah... i was planning on going on a story about me clubbing by using the eagle and rabbit story... but i was too lazy to become creative, so i just deleted everything and start from scratch...

anyways... i've been to Melbourne for like 2 months already... oh wait... it's 2 months sharp this week... but anyways... yeah... within these 2 months i guess i went through kinda lots of things... knew lots of new friends who are from different parts (you'd think i'd say the world right?) of Malaysia... =P anyways yeah... coming here, i've been like mostly trapped in my room... doing shitz... because even if i go out i got shitz to do... and tat's kinda like my life here... doing nothing... but u know what... in melbourne it's totally different... in KL i would never think about walking 20 minutes to go somewhere but here, there are actually nice walk path for you to walk from destination to destination... even in malaysia i drive 3 minutes to go for food, here i walk 30-40 minutes for food... somehow i think it's a different situation but yeah... it's true... here i walk alot... =)

But anyhow... enough of being here... i knew a bunch of people who are like the clubbing kaki's... so last friday we went clubbing... it was like one of the nicest day out... although the day we went out drinking beer is all so fun... but yeah... tat night was an experience... it was my 1st time i ever tried avoiding a girl that bad... that i had to squeeze through tight gaps here and there...

Okay those wondering why would i want to avoid a girl... 1st thing 1st.. the 1st time i met her at my friend's room they were telling me a story about how this girl made out with some guy... i was like okay... her quality also can do that... (hinting here...) so it's okay... then not enough... the next day i hear from my friend that she ACTUALLY fucking love to do things like that... making out with random guys in clubs, grinding with guys and shit like tat... okay... enough... back to friday.. it was 5 minutes that we entered the club, we were ordering drinks, there she is with a guy making out dancing and shit like tat... hahaha... but anyways... i understand that indians got bad taste... =) hehehehe... =P yeah that guy's indian... so enough of that... had our shot, went onto the dance floor... she was behind me... she tried twice to attract my attention... and it was like all my friends there were victims of the grinding part... non of them had the kissing part... and i guess i'm the only guy who wasn't yet victimized and hope that it would stay the same through out my studies... =) hehehe...

Anyhow... yeah kinda experience that i would like... and you know what.. .comparing clubs here with clubs in m'sia it's such a big difference... in m'sia clubs are pack, people holding cigarette buds around the whole club, you enter the club and u come out as a stinking bastard. that sucks... here it's totally different... entering a club won't get you smelling like a smoking bastard... and i like it this way... although the songs here might not be as good in m'sia... but hell with it... smoke smell brings the standard down already... =) and one thing for sure... u don't see much lala around here...

OMG i think i haven't blogged in too long already... lost my touch... mayb one day i should start blogging shit... get the mood up and get the bloging skills on too...